With the election next Tuesday, we know many of you are still undecided. Fear not! The Record is proud to announce our endorsement for the 2020 Presidential Election: Donald J. Trump.  Trump is the...

  The girl’s bathroom is where it’s at. You just overheard a group of girls in the big stall talking about what Felicia and Jeremy were doing last Saturday night after they went to Momoya....

Whenever students feel overwhelmed by their absurd amount of work and find themselves slowly slipping into the void of stress, despair, and utter lack of will to do anything they can find comfort in the...

Over the weekend, seniors tore open their mail to find yet another glossy HM booklet promoting “Life of the Mind.” It was a pamphlet from the University of Chicago. This is not a joke.    After...

“This year has been filled with loss,” Kan Twait-Torage (7) said. “But nothing has hurt quite as badly as realizing that I won’t get to post a photo booth picture on Instagram of every single bat...

Move over, Avenues — HM is in town! After Thanksgiving, when most of the school will conduct HM Online 2.0, the school will offer an in-person learning option in Southampton: Horace Mampton, Head of...

A few weeks ago, Polly Nater (11) was one of a select group of very observant students who began noticing the bees around campus. First, they were clustered by the trash cans. Then a lone soul buzzed around...

All school will be conducted remotely for the next two weeks after Public Safety identified and successfully obliterated a MAGA hat on Alumni Field, Head of School Dr. Tee Kay announced in an email at...

Spencer ‘channel-surfer’ Kahn’t (11) won this year’s award for Most Valuable Couch Potato, given annually to the school’s best athlete on the prestigious team. Kahn’t and his teammates on the...

Knitting, initially introduced as a means of relaxation during Wellness Week, has become a dangerous addiction for the student body. The activity has taken over every corner of the school and become commonplace...

ALEXA MARK (11) - THE DESTROYER When she’s not delivering fire rebuttals at debate tournaments or writing powerful articles for a publication that shall not be named (The Review), one can find Alexa...

All that could be heard echoing through the halls of the school this past week have been cries of “#RipLangston.” As the health class curriculum stops showing the iconic film “Keg Party” as part...