The Record

Varsity Couch Potatoes dominate the Ivy League

Sam Keimweiss, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

Spencer ‘channel-surfer’ Kahn’t (11) won this year’s award for Most Valuable Couch Potato, given annually to the school’s best athlete on the prestigious team. Kahn’t and his teammates on the Varsity Layabout Team, the Horace Mann Lay-ons, won the Ivy League Championships for the third ye...

Knitting addiction deemed community crisis

Isabella Zhang, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

Knitting, initially introduced as a means of relaxation during Wellness Week, has become a dangerous addiction for the student body. The activity has taken over every corner of the school and become commonplace for students yearning to destress and let go of their responsibilities. The school first ordered kni...

Gym class heroes: behind the scenes

Amelia Feiner, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

ALEXA MARK (11) - THE DESTROYER When she’s not delivering fire rebuttals at debate tournaments or writing powerful articles for a publication that shall not be named (The Review), one can find Alexa Mark (11) eviscerating her classmates in floor hockey, ultimate frisbee, touch football, and countless...

Student protest after Keg Party is removed from health class

Julia Robbins, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

All that could be heard echoing through the halls of the school this past week have been cries of “#RipLangston.” As the health class curriculum stops showing the iconic film “Keg Party” as part of its course, students can’t help but reflect on the film’s impact and cinematic value. For tho...

Wind Ensemble toots their way to Super Bowl

Nistha Sharma and Eddie Jin

April 8, 2019

The National Football League (NFL) announced that they will invite the nation’s top independent school bands – including the school’s Wind Ensemble, Riversdale’s Orchestra, and Fieldston’s Choir – to perform in the Super Bowl halftime show on March 17. The decision came following the hilltop scho...

Freshman Bullying Seniors

Darius McCullough, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

A spitball flies across the hallway and hits the Student Body President in the face as she leaves her Advanced Placement Calculus classroom. She turns around and sees a group of freshmen snickering near the water fountain on the third floor of Tillinghast hall. A senior gets pelted with a snowball as...

Student spills the tea on campus free food

Ben Wang, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

We all like food, right? However, do you know what food is best? Free Food! Doesn’t just hearing those words invoke this intrinsic hunger in you? But where can we find some of these delicious treats in the school? Have you ever wondered why every day during break, there is a line jam-packed with stu...

AirPods (TM) now available in library

Gabby Kepnes, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

As you may know, Katz Library allows students to check out items like books, textbooks, portable phone chargers, and laptops. Due to the overwhelming abundance of “Missing AirPods” emails filling everyone’s First Class inboxes, the school administration in conjunction with Chair of the Library Depa...

HMCU Takes Over Food Service

HMCU Takes Over Food Service

Abigail Salzhauer, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

After students tried the delicious yet fairly priced treats from the Horace Mann Chefs United (HMCU) bake sale in the first semester, a movement began to replace the Flik food service with HMCU. After weeks of petitioning, the administration finally gave in. Starting April 8th, HMCU will supply all fo...

Changed wifi password at Dorr sparks outrage

Ranya Sareen and Mayanka Dhingra

April 8, 2019

Enraged students at John Dorr Nature Laboratory (Dorr) are in open rebellion. They are prolonging the length of hot showers from five to six minutes after an unexpected change to the Wifi password sparked mutiny amongst the student body. News of the password change circulated last week after the Va...

Missing item email: Students’ motivation

Kiara Royer, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

A day at school wouldn’t be a typical one if a ‘missing item’ email isn’t sent out by one of the deans. Students have lost a variety of items, including Moncler jackets, an $84.2 million mansion in the Hamptons, and 2/5 of the school’s Core Values; however, an item that has long been consider...

School cancelled next week due to rain forecast

Nelson Gaillard, Staff Writer

April 8, 2019

While AgriMann members were tilling Alumni field yesterday afternoon, a yeezy-obsessed freshman, walking along Tibbett Avenue from Olshan to Lutnick café, felt a drop of rain, he said, before taking an Uber XL home. An hour later, Head of School Dr. Tom Kelly’s email about a “Rain Week” shook ...

Horace Mann's Weekly Newspaper Since 1903
Humor